Friday, November 8, 2013

How to Stay Awake When You're Basically a Zombie

If there's one thing my friends can attest to in regards to my life, it's that I'm basically always tired.
Always.
Like two-seconds-from-passing-out-in-my-chair-at-a-restaurant-sleepy.

So basically I've had to come up with survival techniques so that I don't just completely fall asleep standing up, and since it's basically that point in the semester where everyone is pulling all-nighters at the library, I thought I'd share a few of the best tips you'll ever read. Some of them are more effective than others, but I'll let you be the judge of that <3

-Energy Drinks. They're awful and unhealthy for you, but they're no joke - just maybe bring one of those mini-disposable toothbrushes with you because otherwise you'll cry when you realize how icky your teeth feel.

-Coffee. Not because the caffeine actually works for me, but because it's warm and it makes me feel all fuzzy inside, and that's the most exciting.
 

-Invest in a tube of Soap & Glory Sexy Mother Pucker lip gloss. SOOO TINGLY! When I start dozing off in class, I put some on and my lips freak out so it wakes me up. So not only does it give me a jolt, but it makes me cutesie. Genius.
 

-Smack yourself a couple of times. Don't question it, just do it. Don't give yourself a black eye or anything, but just enough to turn your cheeks red and get your blood flowing.

-Look at this dog. Boom. 10 minutes of energy. 
-Do the Macarena. If you download the song, even better.

-Pinterest.  Enough said. Yeah you won't get anything productive done, but you'll be awake, and that's something, right?

-Allow yourself to buy one item that is $15 or less on Etsy. Nothing will wake you up quite like that shopping high you get after pointless spending!

- Have a selfie-session for Instagram. Your friends will hate you, but who really cares! I sure don't. Bonus points if you use up to 10 different emoji in your captions.

-Try waxing your leg. Just one strip. I haven't tested this theory, but I'm pretty sure it'll help.

-Imagine one of those creepy aliens from Signs is chasing you, and you don't have any water. Those are the worst. 

-Make up a brief song. But not like a lame one, one about a princess or something. And then you can sing it to me, because I love princesses. 

-Bake something! It takes like 20ish minutes depending on what you make, and the smell will wake you up ASAP. Plus snacking always wakes you up.


OR just basically, you could go to bed. Because that's what normal people do when they're tired, and your body hates you when you don't just sleep. So maybe skip watching Pretty Little Liars and go to bed at a decent hour. But whatever, who has time for that. I sure don't!
 
But really, I'll take a coffee now please. 

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